A new chapter has been posted in the ongoing detail of our Chronicles’ unfortunate history: Reunion of the Damned. This one tells of the creation of Chapter 2, has photographic accompaniments, and is overall the most perfect historical record that man has yet created. All facts are absolutely 100% correct, nothing is exaggerated, and in no way is the vile utensil of hyperbole invoked.

This one goes out to a personal friend of mine, Barack Obama, in recognition of his victory on the battlefields of Babylon: Part 2 in our harrowing behind-the-scenes saga: Shame, Defeat, and Cheese Cubes is now up (I hear he’s been anticipating it). Learn of the great catastrophe which befell our kind at Lions Gate some two years ago and wonder at both our shame and our ability to ingest shame like some foul-bullion’d broth.

For the three that may be interested: The screeching of an unusually loud crow led me to my balcony, where a scrap of parchment fell ominously from above. Written on it was an account - a chronicle, if you will - of the first Library Chronicle. Head over to the new Library section to read the first installment in what will surely be a riveting on-going tale of bewilderment and woe.